This year, my wife and I are going to have a baby.
When I imagined having a kid, I imagined that it would be after I was a successful actor. It would be making a living performing on TV, theater, and in movies. Maybe I would have an apartment (or even a house) I bought with the money from first big show. I wouldn’t be afraid of juggling childcare, a day job, and a creative career because I would be established in my career and comfortable in my finances. Then, from this seat of comfort, I would introduce a child into the world, and my family and I would live happily ever after…
Needless to say, that’s not where I’m at. But we are going to have a child anyway.
I feel pretty good about this decision. Because I know I’m going to die one day.
Go with me here: success (however it’s defined) isn’t a guarantee, death is. So, if I put aspects of my life on hold while I wait to be successful, the only thing that is guaranteed to happen is that more of my life will go by while I’m waiting.
If I live my life conditionally (when I’m successful, then I’ll X, Y, or Z) the whole thing might pass me by. The only answer is to do whatever I can right now. lt needs to happen simultaneously, or there’s a chance that it just won’t happen at all.
I’m not giving up on my dream of success. I still hope to ‘make it’ as an actor and be creatively prolific and financially comfortable (doesn’t that sound nice?!). I’m still going to take acting classes, and create projects, go to networking events, and do what I can to give myself the best chances of success possible. The thing is, I’m not going to stake my life on it.
I’m going to have a baby. I’m exploring ways to make more money so I can give myself and my family some more of the stability and comfort I had imagined when I thought about ‘making it’. I’m going to try to do more if it at once.
It’s not easy. But it’s starting to feel more and more like it’s the only way to have a life.
The mantra that I have created for this is: “Live as if you won’t succeed, work like you can”. Maybe a more succinct way to say this is “Live regardless”.
Striving to realize goals gives our lives purpose and meaning. But I challenge you to think about what aspects of your dream life you can bring into existence now. It might not be in the timeline or in the way that you would have done it if you had your druthers, but it’s important to make it happen while you still have time.